so tired of being scared
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so tired of being scared

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Old 03-29-11, 08:25 PM   #1
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i used to have a lot of confidence, and i would still be scared of doing things, especially when it came to confronting people, but i would be able to over come that. now my anxiety is mking that immpossible. im afraid to talk to ppl, my heart pounds when i leave my house to go some where, i get scared when i enter the store,i get scared when its my turn at the register, i get scared when i leave, im scared to go to the movies (that is always slow and dead and has veyr little business) with my sister tomorr,w im scared to go to my sisters house tomorrow! im scared to stand to some of my coworkers, to ask my boss things, but im always second guessing myself. im too afraid to stand up for myself. i work at a gas station, i get ppl coming in all the time with shitty attitudes, and when i see one of them coming i panic. i could lose my job now bc some young guy came in and bought cigerattes and i got too scared to ID him. if htey see that on camera, i could lose my job! and hen i do ask for IDs, i get scared, my heart pounds and i stutter and shake. i was afriad to hold my 7 month old nephew last night bc i kept thinking i was going to drop him. i had to hold him, and i tried to stay calm, but he picked up on my anxiety and fears and got scared himself. im scared to leave for work, im scared to leave work for home. im scared walk threw my front door if my moms home and my mom and i have been on good terms for a while now. im scared ot call ppl, to answer the phone. and sometiems its just my heart pounding and i breathe and im ok, but most of the time, its me shaking, unable to think and concentrate, much less rationalize i stutter and cant et a full sentence out. ppl keep thinking im being rude when i dont mean to be, they try to talk to me and i just smile and look away. my asthemas been fucking up bc of all of this extra stress, and i lose my breath once i panic. i hit my knee, my elbow, or something else, i cut my finger the other day, jsut a small paper cut and i was ont he verge of an anxiety attack. and sometimes,just taking a deep breath and thinking things threw helps, but most of the time i cant get to that point. i jsut take a breath and im still scared and i dont no wat to do here. wat can i do?
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Old 04-02-11, 12:48 AM   #2
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Have alot of the same issues more mild but completely understand being tired of it all. Have you ever taken medication for anxiety? Have you ever talked to a counsellor or psychiatrist about this?

I feel as I get older, I can't keep this stuff inside of me anymore. I think sometimes about ready to explode on people now. I understand what you're saying. Not too sure how to deal with it all. Think I got to learn to not be scared of everything all the time. Be more true to myself. But it's hard. I'm learning to say "no" more now too. Just take small steps. I think that's what I'm trying to do for myself now.
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Old 04-02-11, 08:37 AM   #3
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i have spoken to my counselor, but she hasnt suggested meds and im trying to avoid them.
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Is this the life that you lead or the life that's led for you? Will take the road that's been laid out before you

the sun will set on this my dear
your labors aren't in vain
your blistered and your burned from it
your wounds are gonna heal
steadfast my love the end is near
just keep your eyes ahead
grab hold of me
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your never on your own
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Old 04-02-11, 01:43 PM   #4
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I'm trying to avoid meds too. Just try taking small steps to dealing with your fear. That's what I'm trying to do too. It's not easy, I know.

That saying of "worrying yourself sick" is true. So sometimes just for health reasons I feel I have to find better ways to cope with my anxiety, fear. But completely understand what you're saying.
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Old 04-02-11, 05:42 PM   #5
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im able to talk myself down from it sometimes, but when it gets too bad i cant do anythin gbut walk around and breath slowly, trying to keep other ppl from noticing it.
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Is this the life that you lead or the life that's led for you? Will take the road that's been laid out before you

the sun will set on this my dear
your labors aren't in vain
your blistered and your burned from it
your wounds are gonna heal
steadfast my love the end is near
just keep your eyes ahead
grab hold of me
I'll help you there
your never on your own
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Old 05-07-11, 04:22 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TooMuch View Post
Have alot of the same issues more mild but completely understand being tired of it all.

I feel as I get older, I can't keep this stuff inside of me anymore. I think sometimes about ready to explode on people now.
I have been feeling so overwhelmed just having to get through a day, a month, and beyond, concerned about expenses and life in general. I feel I cannot say to others that "I'm tired" or feel "exhausted", since they have more demanding schedules and wonder what I mean. So, I'm left feeling not only as I do, but cannot share it and becomes isolating. Over time, I have let friends go or we both drifted and in a way, don't really care. I have few family members and one other person I speak to regularly. I'm not employed and do not socialize. The clinic I'm now visiting for medication does not offer private or group counseling, which I feel I need.

I am an older person grateful to be on SSDI, but in an apartment with rent increasing each year and is becoming more difficult to maintain, though the rent is not as high as some. It is almost impossible to acquire "low-income housing" since the demand for is great in this vicinity. I get some help from family which I am appreciative of, but feel badly about it. I believe I am "allowed" to make some extra income, yet having no current references, unqualified for much and being the age I am, it is something that feels fairly futile. I question my abilities to perform work unless it is something I can clearly do and within an undemanding environment, considering my self-esteem.

My initial depression some time ago was brought on after experiencing employment changes and losses at the hands of others. I felt I had no time to recover from an initial loss from a long-term position, then suffered subsequent losses, due to an already weakened emotional state and some bad employers. Once confident, I feel I've lost my identity in a way. I don't relate to much and dislike a lot of what is going on in the world besides and don't feel hopeful. I honestly don't know what I'm doing, but know it has to change.
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Old 05-07-11, 06:36 AM   #7
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