Freaking out....
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Freaking out....

This is a discussion on Freaking out.... within the Anxiety forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; This has happened to me a thousand times over since I became ill and confined to the home. I figure ...

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Old 01-12-17, 08:08 AM   #1
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This has happened to me a thousand times over since I became ill and confined to the home. I figure family members are talking about me behind my back in a very harsh and brutal way, that they hate me and think that I am crazy, ugly, stupid...etc. I fear that they will "turn against me" in a sense. Stop talking to me altogether, unfriend me on FB...so on and so forth. This is a major source of stress for me because I am already so isolated and insanely lonely because of it. Having family members who were once close and loving turn their backs on me would just about end it for me.
This morning I expressed a fear to one family member. Without my permission, they messaged the person on FB that was the subject of said fear and asked them about it. The fear is that I was blocked. A benign issue to some perhaps...but to me this would be an extremely painful situation to endure. I have to see this person on a regular basis. They have the respect and backing of most other family members. Whatever they think and feel will influence most of the others to think the same way about me.
The fear is just that, though, at this point: a FEAR. There is still a chance that it is not true and that I am just being paranoid and stupid. However, now I have this person's interpretation of the FB message to be afraid of. Will they get fed up with me and my anxious, obsessive worries....will they turn away from me for good? Again, this may seem silly to some, but I am in torment over it at the moment. Could use some kind words...something. I feel so very alone and exhausted....and fed up with myself.
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Old 01-15-17, 09:13 AM   #2
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Wishing now that I could delete this post. :(
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Old 01-15-17, 01:57 PM   #3
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You don't need to delete the post! Your concerns are valid and there is nothing at all wrong with voicing them here. The site is slow these days of volunteers who respond to posts, so hang in there when you post here.

It is very hard to be stuck at home. I am temporarily confined mostly to my home but not entirely as you sound like you are. I struggle with it a lot. Are you able to take walks or do anything to relieve your confinement? I feel like having a purpose for myself even while I am at home is important. Learning new things is very helpful in following purpose and staying busy. Doing research from home on areas of interest is one good way to occupy the mind and pass beyond the paranoia and anxiety of your life now. Have you thought about pursuing classes online or doing your own research through readings? You also seem articulate enough that you could consider writing on topics you like, maybe even something longer like a book.

It sounds like you have people in your life who care about you and understand as well as they are able about what is happening with you. I hope you are able to rest in your faith in these people and that your sticky situation cleared up.

Remember,
YOU are worth while. Take hold of that faith and put it in your heart. You are more then just a sick person, you are a special one-of-a-kind creation. You CAN do it!
misumena
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Old 01-25-17, 09:52 AM   #4
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Thank you for your kind words of encouragement, hottea654 :).....
I apologize for not responding sooner....as you could see I felt rather embarrassed by the subject matter of my post. I stopped checking back here for a time.
Sometimes I am met with discouragement whenever I attempt to do the things that I once loved, like reading for example, on account of my memory impairment issues and shifty energy levels. However, I do understand the importance of perseverance. Drawing your attention towards something positive and stimulating does have impact on anxious thoughts and ruminations.
I greatly appreciate your suggestions...and thank you ever so much for responding. I feel less alone now and definitely less foolish for speaking up
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