This has happened to me a thousand times over since I became ill and confined to the home. I figure family members are talking about me behind my back in a very harsh and brutal way, that they hate me and think that I am crazy, ugly, stupid...etc. I fear that they will "turn against me" in a sense. Stop talking to me altogether, unfriend me on FB...so on and so forth. This is a major source of stress for me because I am already so isolated and insanely lonely because of it. Having family members who were once close and loving turn their backs on me would just about end it for me.
This morning I expressed a fear to one family member. Without my permission, they messaged the person on FB that was the subject of said fear and asked them about it. The fear is that I was blocked. A benign issue to some perhaps...but to me this would be an extremely painful situation to endure. I have to see this person on a regular basis. They have the respect and backing of most other family members. Whatever they think and feel will influence most of the others to think the same way about me.
The fear is just that, though, at this point: a FEAR. There is still a chance that it is not true and that I am just being paranoid and stupid. However, now I have this person's interpretation of the FB message to be afraid of. Will they get fed up with me and my anxious, obsessive worries....will they turn away from me for good? Again, this may seem silly to some, but I am in torment over it at the moment. Could use some kind words...something. I feel so very alone and exhausted....and fed up with myself.