Why is there abuse in this world we live in? It seems like my whole life I have been abused by most the people I love. They walk all over me, speak hurtful names and words to me, bully me, hit me, send me to the hospital. My sister has bullied me and hit me before, my mother has been abusive to me, father abused me, I have raped, kidnapped, robbed at gunpoint, my husband abuses me, his family abuses me? Is it selfish for me to ask why this is all happening to me and then when I look around I see some other families getting along beautifully, no abuse going on in their lives, they are happy and joyful with a lot of help and support. People donate to them and help them. No one is helping me. No one donates to me when I need something. I run out of food at the end of every month. My baby was born in to poverty and faces hunger because I always run out of formula the last few days and she has to go without food. Then when I ask people for help or donations no one helps. I see a lot of other people getting all this help from others but just not giving help to me. It is making me sad and it hurts me and breaks my heart. I already get welfare but it is never enough to buy everything I need for the whole entire month. I can't get a job anywhere because I am pregnant and all the job interviews I went to only discriminated against me and wouldn't hire me. My case worker at the welfare office told me it was okay to not worry about working for now because by law the state doesn't require me to work if I am pregnant and for the first year of my baby's life in order to get cash from the government. So I get a little something but as I said before not enough. Why is there people that end up abused their whole lives and other people end up having no one abusing them, no one saying hurtful words to them, no one refusing to help them and they have plenty of help and support.
How come I never can have someone that is a true friend and help me? I need to have caring kind heart people in my life that won't abuse me and cause me suffering but I never get that. I just want to be happy to. I just want people in my life that won't abuse me and hurt me and will help me out in my time of need. So why am I getting the short end of the stick all the time and always end up having abusive people coming into my life and no one that is kind and wants to help me and be generous to me ever comes into my life? I have even tried going to churches to get help and they are turning me away saying they can't help with getting my baby formula. I even went to an old church friend and asked for help in my time of need and she said she can't help me with anything. I thought church people are supposed to care and help if a baby needs food and is suffering. She seems so nice. I thought she would be caring and help out for sure. The pastor lady I know wouldn't help me and I used to attend her church. She is very prosperous and has a lot of money and when I used to have money I always donated to her church from my heart out of love and then she refuse to donate to me when I need help and asked her if she could donate in my time of need. I thought she would definitely help me because I am poor now and starting to lose everything I ever had. I have given to her I thought church people help poor people. It is hurting my feelings that she said she can't do anything for me. It makes me feel like she doesn't love me. No one loves me or wants to give to me from their heart. Everyone keeps turning me away. It seems like God is even turning me away. I thought God was supposed to supply all our needs according to his riches and glory? That is what it says in the bible so why is God not giving me all my needs? I'm only human and not perfect. I make mistakes too.