My abusive father ruined my childhood
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My abusive father ruined my childhood

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Old 03-16-16, 09:17 AM   #1
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Unhappy My abusive father ruined my childhood

I grew up with a father who is both physically and emotionally abusive. He also expects things to be done his way and for me to be perfect. He is bi-polar, but doesn't do anything about it because he drinks a lot of beer with his meds. My dad regularly beats my mom, sometimes to the point of death. He also berates me for not being toilet trained properly; he once struck me for peeing on the floor of a CVS when I couldn't hold it any longer. I was actually glad when my parents divorced, and I never spoke to or trusted my father since.

Can anyone relate to this, or does anyone else here have an abusive parent or family member. I'm interested in hearing about it.
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Old 03-22-16, 08:47 PM   #2
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I have an abusive father and had an abusive grandfather. Have many shitty stories, but it's not that important now because I am out from that environment for 10 years. It affected my life a lot especially when I wasn't realizing the significance of the situation. I got into abusive relationship and wasn't respecting myself. But when I start going to counselling my life slowly started to change.
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Old 05-31-16, 03:13 AM   #3
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My mum was physically very abusive. My dad as well but not as extreme so it seemed normal.
My mum changed over to being emotionally abusive as I got older. I'm still in contact - I know I'm an idiot and she changed totally once she had a life threatening illness. Now she's just nasty.
I wish I could give some advice - well I can but it's not advice that I've ever carried out because I'm too weak. Burt here goes - cut the toxic people out of your life and don't let it shape your life - just let it go,
I wish I had done that so many years ago. It sounds good and I'm sure it would work.
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Old 07-29-16, 03:59 PM   #4
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yes i have abusive father. and a submissive mother. i am pretty sure that is the worst combo ever. i asked my mother once if she stayed with that asshole if he had beaten her. she said no. it's hard to believe. this man was so merciless to torture little kids who weren't able to defend themselves. everytime he saw me he used to say something to hurt me. when i crawled back to my room he would return again and again to hurt me even more and more. he must have loved to do it. OMG how i hate him. my aunt his sister always made pressure on me to forgive him, told me that he loved me. that he can't do anything about it how he was... i guess i believed this nonsense. she believes this until present day. of course she had no idea what was happening behind closed doors. she only knew him from what she experienced how he behaved towards her. i am pretty sure if there were no such people around who lied to me that he loved me, etc i would have ran away from home. maybe that would have saved me. also i believed that i was an idiot. my own father was telling me this every day so he must have been right. everything i did was wrong. absolutely everything. ha ha you are so stupid you are doing this the wrong way. you are doing everything the wrong way.. hahaha how stupid you are. how can i have such a stupid son.. should have smashed his face with a hammer. the worst thing though is that i see many similarities in the behavior of myself. how i want to criticize everyone for everything. want to make everyone feel bad. the biggest difference is that i know that it is wrong. that it is the result of his influence on me. i fight with myself everyday not to be like him. instead of criticizing i try to be positive, to be supportive. it is very hard though. i am angry, sad, negative. and it is me who has to be positive... how odd. it is hard to see people around you to progress in lives thanks to how they were raised by their loving parents. while i am still fighting with most common things like saying "hi"" to someone i know on the street. it is hard listening to their ambitious plans while my whole plan is waiting for the end. of course i don't want them to be successful, to leave me rot in my misery while they live their dreams. despite of this i always try to encourage them to pursue their happiness. i know it's hypocrisy but this is all i know. can't do any better. and i hope that when i have kids of my own i will be able to encourage them and support them their whole lives. that i can beat my father in me... what do you think? is this possible? should a man like me have kids?
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Old 07-31-16, 11:05 AM   #5
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Mine was too your not the only one whos been in that situation.
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