I Hate People So Much!!
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I Hate People So Much!!

This is a discussion on I Hate People So Much!! within the Abuse forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I think most people are filth. The voices are so abusive. They try to shame me. They love to make ...

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Old 11-09-14, 06:41 PM   #1
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I think most people are filth.

The voices are so abusive. They try to shame me. They love to make me cry. They act like I think I'm so big, bad, and bold because I'm comfortable with my sexuality and am assertive. They love to bring me down.

They're realistic. They're exactly like what Crystal, Dimitri, and so many people I know say people are like. So now I feel like this is really how people are.

I was a chameleon for three weeks. I started getting paranoid. Started feeling like people would pry. And they will pry. They will ask personal questions. They will try to paint a certain picture. They will invade my privacy. They will emotionally rape me.

People can't accept people's differences. They have no morals. They don't just leave people to their own devices.

No matter how old you are, if someone's older than you, they pull the age card and think they can be the big boss.

They're very sexist. Hostile sexism is when you think women aren't worthy of being equals, that they deserve to get raped, that they deserve to get AIDS, etc. Benevolent sexism is when you think women should be protected and sheltered for their own good, that you know what's best for them. I have been subjected to an insane amount of benevolent sexism. And I'm damn sick of it.

They bitch and moan about not being accepted because of racism or whatever but they don't accept me. So what's the difference? Hypocrites!


A pox on them!


To hell with them!
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Old 11-10-14, 03:04 AM   #2
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Please realize that the thing that you describe as benevolent sexism is actually how most males try to show they care about you.

Men and women are different, and while we are equal in general, women are more vulnerable in the realm of the physical and men are more vulnerable in the realm of emotions.

Could you give us some specifics about how they try to shame you? What's the deal with your sexuality? How are you assertive about it?

Maybe they do have morals and that is why they are trying to shame you? Maybe they feel threatened by your displays?
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Old 11-10-14, 10:07 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by Soulseeker View Post

Could you give us some specifics about how they try to shame you? What's the deal with your sexuality? How are you assertive about it?

Maybe they do have morals and that is why they are trying to shame you? Maybe they feel threatened by your displays?
Thanks for responding.

-They call me names to manipulate me, like asking "are you a freak nasty ho or are you a queen?" I don't want to be either of those!

-I'm assertive in general. I'm secure in my promiscuity for the most part because I know that gender is a social construct.

-I fucking HATE when the male voices are manipulative and act like "father knows best." I'm GLAD my father and grandfather are dead, sorry if that sounds like a bitchy thing to say. Father figures don't know what it's like to be a woman, sexually repressed. They don't realize that I don't want to get married. So am I supposed to be celibate for life?? It doesn't sink in with them that if I'm celibate until I get married, and I'm never getting married, that I'm celibate for life!!

-How do they have morals if they're trying to shame a girl out of freedom, a girl who hurts NO ONE?!

-Yes I think I'm seen as a threat because I'm like Samantha from Sex and the City: promiscuous, non-conformist, yet still successful and have my act together for the most part.
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Old 11-10-14, 01:13 PM   #4
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Sorry if I offended anyone with what I said about my dad and my grandfather.

I feel awful.

I am still trying to pursue hedonism (distraction). I was ganged up on by several voices, who tried to force me to learn about what's going on the Middle East, which is very serious and not hedonistic at all. They said I'm morally obligated to learn about it. They put pressure on me to "raise awareness" because I'm "highly intelligent." "Uni is not a reward. It's a responsibility."

This type of stuff makes me despise people because I feel like this is how they really are. Being a loner is very boring and might come across as rude. But I feel like I don't have a choice. The sad thing is I have no evidence that this is how people actually are.
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Old 11-10-14, 01:28 PM   #5
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((((((((((((((((((Sensual))))))))))))))))))))))

Be what you want to be, not what someone/something expects from you to be. You are person who is holding the steering wheel, voices and other people dont hold the steering wheel. Only you choose where to go, how to act, what to be.

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I am still trying to pursue hedonism (distraction). I was ganged up on by several voices, who tried to force me to learn about what's going on the Middle East, which is very serious and not hedonistic at all. They said I'm morally obligated to learn about it. They put pressure on me to "raise awareness" because I'm "highly intelligent." "Uni is not a reward. It's a responsibility."
Its kind of inevitable to hear about those depressing things which are all around us. But you can always after it, play some show you find entertaining and make yourself supress those depressing stuff and focus on joy.
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Old 11-10-14, 01:38 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by nsdimitrije View Post
((((((((((((((((((Sensual))))))))))))))))))))))

Be what you want to be, not what someone/something expects from you to be. You are person who is holding the steering wheel, voices and other people dont hold the steering wheel. Only you choose where to go, how to act, what to be.
Oh Dimitri, you always know what to say to lift my spirits. Thanks.

But I'm wondering, what if people try to control me and won't let me be the person I want to be, the hedonist, the free spirit?

They send mixed signals. First they say "you're not a free spirit. Free spirits would do XYZ." But then when I try to do XYZ they force me to do otherwise. They say "can't you just be normal? Why do you have to be some superstar? You were spoiled as a child." It's very frustrating. And when I say "well I'm not allowed to do XYZ" they get angry and say "for God's sake, you're not a little girl!"
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Old 11-10-14, 03:15 PM   #7
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Quote:
"for God's sake, you're not a little girl!"
"You are right, i am not a little girl, i am a big girl, thats why i choose to be what i want to be and not what i am expected to be by others , just because i am a big girl, and i dont need some mean voices controlling my life"

How about that?
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Old 11-10-14, 04:48 PM   #8
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Oh gosh, talk back to them? They always talk over me and are very pushy and rude, especially the Malcolm X voice and my ex's voice. Random. I have no clue why them. I guess the aggressive and controlling temperment in both of them is what I find threatening about people.

Do you think I should drop labels i.e. hedonist?

One the one hand, if I say I'm a hedonist, they criticize it, they say it's selfish (how stupid, it has never been about selfishness since Ancient Greece), bullshit, irresponsible, decadent, not deeply thought out, or whatever. But if I don't use labels, they say "if you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything."

These are the mixed signals I've gotten my whole life. For example, I was either a slut or a prude or a tease or whatever else. If I didn't trust men the "not all men are like that." But if I got a boyfriend, "your boyfriend is cheating on you. I know you're thinking 'not my man', but he's cheating on you. All men need to cheat is opportunity."
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Old 11-10-14, 05:38 PM   #9
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Dont tell them that, dont tell what i said to voices, tell that to yourself.

I believe you mentioned a specific date, till which you will follow hedonism, sorry i dont recall exact date, but i think you should push it till then. No early quitting.
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Old 11-10-14, 07:54 PM   #10
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Okay, doctor's orders. Thanks so much love!
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