Being a bi-polar addict, I readily admit that I am very difficult to be around. Although my raging co-depenant nature has created many of my self esteem issues, I rarely ask for more than I can give.

Yesterday, I was beaten by my husband. His anger has gradually created terror in me when there is conflict. I was told he would not be available to "take care of me" anymore as the stress was to great (This I really understand) I left him at his request.

He showed up at dragged me into the parking lot. He drenched me with hot coffee and then proceeded to hurl the metal cup at my face. I think my nose is broken. He tore me clothes off, took my car keys, and shook me so hard my head was spinning.

Was I right in telling him I was afraid? That is why I left? Seems to have made matters worse. I know that my illness is harse. I live it everyday, but I am tired of hidding my feelings. I am not happy with him. I do nothing right in his eyes. Although I know I am. Self esteem is bruised. but many years of therapy as taught me otherwise.

I have lived my life around this man for four years, I feel trapped and at his beckon call everyday. I am tired of not being "well" enough for him. But my greatest fear is the fear of being abandoned. It has happed to me all my life. I have no living family or close friends that would be safe for me to confide in. My doctor is "out" for the summer. Good timing. It is just me alone, isolated. I am afraid of what may happen.

Please pray for me.

You were right in telling him you were afraid. He just proved that your fears were well founded. *hugs* Can you go to the police or are you afraid of what will happen? You don't deserve his abuse. You are in my thoughts.

Hon, please do me a favor, please. Don't ever go back to that man. Never!! I was severely abused in my first marriage, things that you can't even imagine. I still have nightmares. Baby, you need to get and stay away from him.

No man has any right to beat up on you like that. And you shouldn't be afraid to be around your husband nor at his beck and call. You are more worthy then that. You are a human being.

Like Shay said, go to the cops hon, don't let him get away with this. And don't let him scare you or sweet talk you into going back to him. He'll say it won't happen again but it will.

Hon, is there ANYBODY at all that you could stay with? You are in my prayers baby. Please let us know how you are. :)

hugs!! please go to the police and have this documented....even if you choose not to pursue any legal action right now.

No matter what state of mind we are in, no matter what physical shape we are in....NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO MALTREAT.

I never realised that emotional and physical abuse is what I was accepting. Wynde, you are a valid living being and you have the right to expect respect. You deserve to be safe.

Please feel that you are cared about here. You are NOT alone. I too have abandonment issues. My therapist suggested a book called, "Too good to leave, too bad to stay." It does not tell you what to do, but it does give you questions to think about and examples of what others have decided and how they felt after their decisions.

You don't deserve to be hurt like that. *Big hugs* It was right of you to tell him that you were afraid, and if he only hurts you because of that, then he's not worth your time, Wynde. Think; there has to be someone who'll take you in. Anyone? Even a friend that isn't close or personal would help you in your time of need. And if you can't confide in any of your friend, remember; this forum is a haven for you to feel safe and secure in. We're all brothers and sisters here; we're all family. If no one out there in Texas will take care of you, then you can be darn sure that we will.

Wynde

Are you still with us? I just read your post and am truly concerned about you and what you went through this week. I hope that somehow you managed to keep the will to live.

It doesn't seem that your problem with your husband is the bipolar as much as it is the problems that he has. I know the bipolar is difficult and makes relationships difficult, but this beating on you and throwing coffee on you and all of that is NOT your fault or anything to do with your illness.

Four years of not wanting to be around him....that's a long time.

You are safe here with people who care and will listen. I need to know that you are ok.

Irishred

you definently dont deserve this kind of treatment. You should leave him right away and file a report so noone else has to go through this. If he really cared about u would he be hurting u physically and mentally? GET AWAY FROM HIM IMMEDIATLY AND NEVER TURN BACK! i know this may be hard to do but it's the best thing for you

hugs<3 what an idiot, whywould he do that to you. you do not deserve that onebit and if he think he can hit a girl cause he want to that hes an ass hole. u can talk to me about anything

What a creep!!!! You sound like a good person and you don't deserve that treatment. My thoughts about abuse; No one deserves to get abused...No One!!!!!!

My mother was severly abused by my dad the whole time they were married. A few years ago he actually tried to kill her. By styaing with this man you are telling yourself that this is all you deserve when NOBODY deserves to be abused, no matter what they have done. I think an abused womens group may help. There you can make friends, have close supports, and a place to talk about anything. Check your local hospital, your doctor, or search online for one in your area. But please, do whatever it takes to stay away from him. It sounds like he too needs severe help and may end up killing you if you stay with him.