Family violence
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Family violence

This is a discussion on Family violence within the Abuse forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; So I had a rude awakening this morning I slept at my uncles tonight we have a Christmas dinner tonight ...

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Old 01-08-16, 11:27 AM   #1
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So I had a rude awakening this morning I slept at my uncles tonight we have a Christmas dinner tonight my psychiatrist said it's ok for me to go to my uncles .....so my asshole brother comes into the guestroom I'm sleeping in and throws a dvd case at my head while I was sleeping that hurt it must have been hard since it started to bleed a tiny bit now I have a ding on the top of my forehead. ...lovely. ......last week I made a wrong decision and got into his car alone and in less than 5 min we start arguing and I said stop right here I am getting the fuck out let me out now or I am going to scream so loud people outside the car will hear and I will cause a scene. .....so after I said that he smashed his fist on my leg while we were at a red light and heven grabbed my arm so hard when I was smart enough to hit the open switch on near the panel to unlock the door and get out of the car fast .....while I am getting out of the car he yells loud sis you are making a big mistake you know I'm your brother I'm only trying to look out for you. .....i said fuck you you evil fuck of a brother you are and I yelled it even louder when I stormed out of the car.....I don't know if this qualifies as violence but I think it's violent of him to do that to me what a fucked up asshole he is.....how stupid I am ? That's rude he invaded my uncles house before he had to go to work this morning. .,
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Old 01-08-16, 11:36 AM   #2
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I didn't sleep well too I had a hard time falling asleep I'm very upset still about my bf leaving me
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Old 01-08-16, 11:39 AM   #3
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I am not a violent person I'm scared of violence I just say mean things or scream loud or cry when things get violent or scary I don't like violence especially in a family
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Old 01-08-16, 11:52 AM   #4
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Is this violence because I let it happen before and he threw a dvd at my head today and just said sis you are a stupid little bitch when will you learn to shut your mouth you dumb slut and laughed and then said you think your intelligent sis....Comical bitch you make me sick you little bitch ......and i said nothing I just cried .... then after he did this he left the room ? My psychiatrist called him again wed so he's pissed off.....what a shithead my brother is.......is this violence because I let it happen again. ...said nothing just cried ?

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Old 01-08-16, 01:12 PM   #5
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Hi, sherrycat. I think, dear, you already know it is violence. As a woman who survived domestic violence, I learned it comes in many forms. Intimidation. Ugly hateful words. Imposing power and control. Physical harm ... like throwing things at people and hitting them with fists.

For the years I was married to that man, I tried convincing myself it wasn't that bad. That he was really a good person, and that I owed it to him to help him.

I imagine with this being your brother, it wouldn't be surprising to hear if you felt a sense of duty and connection to him.

But I learned that no matter what a person is to us, or no matter how they tell us they love us or care about us, them being violent is not okay.

You have the right to be protected from harm. Whether it's physical or verbal or mental. Violence is the act of causing pain or harm to another person. So would you say your brother's actions qualify as violence?

Please do what you can to protect yourself from the violence. Whether your brother gets help for his violent behaviours is up to him. But it is up to you to keep yourself safe.

And please don't call yourself "stupid". You're not. How many times did I forgive my ex? Many. Yes, I called myself "stupid" for forgiving him after each time he hurt me. I think that's part of our will to survive - that if we berate ourselves by calling ourselves "stupid", it will get us the hell out of there. But you are not stupid. You are human. Maybe you want to give your brother another chance. But it should not cost you your safety or wellness, sherrycat.
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Old 01-08-16, 01:31 PM   #6
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Thank you Ravendarklight for your advice..my psychiatrist told me I have Stockholm and battered women's syndrome. ....... I think that's why I keep putting up with it and not saying anything but I'm not sure why. ....I do know he can't be helped he's to evil .....I do feel stupid that I put up with what he does to me. ......I guess I feel a strange sense of security with my brother .......especially now my bf left me.......yes ur right I should feel safe and not toolerate this abuse. .....I regret to say that I do ...and cry about it afterwards

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Old 01-09-16, 06:34 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sherrycat View Post
Thank you Ravendarklight for your advice..my psychiatrist told me I have Stockholm and battered women's syndrome. ....... I think that's why I keep putting up with it and not saying anything but I'm not sure why. ....I do know he can't be helped he's to evil .....I do feel stupid that I put up with what he does to me. ......I guess I feel a strange sense of security with my brother .......especially now my bf left me.......yes ur right I should feel safe and not toolerate this abuse. .....I regret to say that I do ...and cry about it afterwards
Sherrycat, if there is one thing you should know by now, it is that your brother is no source of refuge for you and that it is wrong to feel any sort of security with him. I believe you should share with your psychiatrist at once this "strange sense of security" you have with him "especially now my bf left me". Those two thoughts should have nothing to do with each other. Your brother is no substitute whatsoever for any kind of real loving relationship, whether lost or not, and I greatly fear that feeling "security" with your brother may well prove be fatal for you. Please speak to your doctor about these feelings, as well as what happened this morning, without delay. I believe you must take action against your brother, with the proper authorities, before it is too late. I fear that if you leave things to your own judgment, I don't even want to say. Please take the necessary action, NOW, if only to prevent you from harming yourself through interacting with him, which I fear you will continue to do if you don't actively prevent yourself from doing so by reporting his crimes to the authorities.
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Old 01-12-16, 03:53 AM   #8
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thank you nancy yes i will tell my phychiatrist how my mind thinks in regards to that and my heath is worse than ever i am officaily epileptic so more reason to do something about my brother issues now i still have a dash on my forehead from when my brother threw a dvd at my head very hard when i was sleeping that was a very scary rude awakiewning then he called me a bunch of names and said many mean things to me the dash makes me makes me look ugly now
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